Awkward Talks
by detectivejigsaw
Summary: Caryn Pines finally finds out her boys have made up and are sharing a house. ...About a month after they actually did so. Oops. Part of Flipside AU.


Ring, ring.

Ring, ring.

Ring-

"Hello, Pines residence."

A few seconds later Ford was startled out of his research when his brother uttered a strangled squeak, yelled, "_Perdón, número equivocado_!" into the phone, and hung it back up.

Ford gave Stan a confused stare when he came into the living room, looking-well, not like he'd seen a ghost, since the last time he'd seen one of those he'd just been annoyed and tried to punch it when it attacked them. He looked like he'd just seen a tax collector.

"Who was that?" he asked.

"Telemarketer," Stan said quickly. A little too quickly.

The phone rang again, in a way that sounded almost belligerent. Stan's face turned white, and he told Ford, "Don't answer that," before he high-tailed it to the door. A few seconds later he heard the roar of the car's engine starting up, and screaming away down the road to town.

Ford was naturally confused, and apprehensive... but he was also curious. So he got up and went into the kitchen, where he picked up the phone.

"Hello, this is-"

"_Stanford Filbrick Pines_!"

* * *

Ford uttered a noise that was practically the twin (ha ha) of the one Stan had made. "M-Mom?"

"Was that your brother who answered the phone a minute ago?" Caryn's voice demanded.

"Yeah, it was-didn't he tell you-"

"No! Neither of you said a _thing_ to me about you making up!" He could envision perfectly her putting her hand on her hip as she glared at him. "In fact, it's been months since I heard from either of you, but that's not the principal issue at the moment! How long has he been there?"

Ford closed his eyes. _D_mn it, Stan…_

"...A few weeks."

"How long is 'a few weeks,' exactly?" Her voice was dangerously soft.

Stan would have tried to weasel out of it a little longer by saying, "Longer than a couple," or some similar delay of the inevitable. Ford just said weakly, "Almost four."

"Stanford-!"

"It's hard to explain, Ma! We-we weren't sure we were gonna make up at first, and then a bunch of stuff happened, and-" _I almost made a deal with a triangle-shaped demon until Stan got it through my head that that was a bad idea-_ "we just...got distracted with catching up with each other. I'm sorry, we should have called to tell you."

Caryn made a somewhat-pacified sound. "I've got a mind to ask Shermie ta drive up and give you both a good smack for me, since he's closer." Then she asked suspiciously, "Did you tell _him_ that you've got Stanley livin' with you now?"

"No, we haven't told anyone."

"Well, at least I can take some comfort knowing that it ain't just me you've been locking out of the loop." She sighed, and now he pictured her massaging her temples. "Well, put Stanley on the phone for me so I can chew him out, wouldya?"

"...He took off when you called back," Ford admitted. "I think he thinks hiding will save him from your wrath."

_And mine, once you're through with him._

"Pity these calls aren't cheap...well, whenever he gets home have him call me back."

"Even if he gets home late?"

"Filbrick's out of town; I got all the time in the world."

* * *

It was long after dark by the time Stan drove back to the house, having hustled at the pool hall for a few hours (and gotten a nice amount of cash out of it) before hiding out at Dan's place until the lumberjack went to bed.

He thought about parking away from the house, but he didn't want to risk Steve coming after the Stanley Mobile, so he decided to just hope that he was down in the lab and wouldn't hear the engine.

_Probably a futile hope._

Regardless, after Stan hopped out of the car he crept around to the back of the house, where there was a window that opened into the attic. It seemed like the safest place to stay the night, giving certain people a chance to cool down. Stan had no idea why his brother happened to have a grappling hook lying around the house, but he used it now to lift himself up onto the roof. Then, moving on shaking legs and with outstretched arms, he slowly climbed up until he could push the window open and hop inside.

With a small sigh of relief Stan closed it after him, then turned around. The attic appeared to be nice and empty, just as he'd hoped. Perfect.

He laid the grappling hook on the windowsill, and headed to a corner where some extra blankets were kept. He rounded a stack of boxes-

"Aaaugh!"

Ford was standing there, arms folded, scowl plain to see even in the dim light.

"...How long have you been standing there?" Stan asked when his heart rate returned to normal.

"You didn't call Mom." Ford's voice was sharp and clipped.

Stan glared defiantly back. "Neither did you."

"Don't you try to deflect this on me! You know she's been worried about you! And since you didn't tell her, _I_ had to!" A vein throbbed in his forehead. "What were you thinking, you knucklehead-that you could just hide out here for the rest of your life?!"

"No, but-I knew that she'd probably tell Pa, and I didn't wanna deal with that!"

* * *

For a moment they just glared at each other. Then Ford said quietly, "You can't hide from him forever."

"I can try." Stan leaned against a pillar.

"Stanley…" Ford took a step closer.

"I know what he's gonna say already, I don't need ta hear it in person." Stan drew himself up and said in a gruff imitation of their father, "I can't believe this, Stanford! You're finally makin' a name for yourself, and you're gonna throw it all away by taking in Goofus here?! You forget how he ruined things for you once? You need ta get rid of him before he eats ya outta house and home and finds something else of yours ta destroy!"

"Stanley!" Ford said sharply.

"What? You _know_ I'm right."

He did, but that wasn't the point.

"I told you, I don't care what Pa thinks. And Mom doesn't either. And I'm pretty sure Shermie doesn't. Whether or not you choose to stay here is your and my decision-not his." Ford reached out, put a hand on his shoulder. "He doesn't control you."

"Easy for you ta say," Stan muttered. "You're not a total disappointment."

Ford snorted. "You obviously didn't hear him tell me that studying anomalies was a big waste of time, and that I ought to get into research that would bring me some 'real' money."

Stan allowed himself to be soothed by that-just a little.

At last, though, Ford said, "Mom wants you to call her. She said she'd stay up all night if she had to."

Stan grimaced. "Knowing her, that could go either way on the truth scale."

But, with a sigh of resignation, he followed his brother downstairs to find the phone.

* * *

**Caryn, after chewing her son out, tells him that she's glad to hear he and Ford finally made up, along with everything he's missed out on since he last contacted her. She maybe promises not to tell Filbrick just yet, but gives him the same advice as Ford-that he's going to have to deal with his father sooner or later, and that nobody else approved of him being kicked out like that so he shouldn't let Filbrick get to him. Stan promises that he will-probably crossing his fingers behind his back and making sure Ford doesn't see.**

**By the way, for those of you who don't speak Spanish, Stan said "Sorry, wrong number!"**


End file.
